I recently read a blog by fellow author, Brea Brown who gave me the idea for this blog post. Hers was geared towards Chick Lit romance because that’s what she writes. I write romantic suspense so mine is a lot more fun! Sorry, Brea. 🙂 People are often surprised that I ended up writing romantic suspense. I couldn’t agree more. It certainly wasn’t part of my plans when I decided to become a writer before hitting puberty. What they probably don’t know is that I watch a lot of Investigation Discovery and Mystery Detectives, along with all the special shows they offer. The stories about human nature and the risky and stupid choices we make to get what we want are disturbing and fascinating. It’s like watching a really nasty accident happen and not being able to pry your eyes away. The biggest surprise about writing suspense? How much I enjoy it. I get to explore the dark natures and emotions of my characters and even myself. Scary to some, great for me. Can you say free therapy? But what would life be like if it was a suspense/thriller? Let’s take a look at some ways I think it would work out great.
Stalking people would be okay
Ever cyber stalked a celebrity or thought about doing it in person? Not a problem if your life is a suspense/thriller. In fact, I’m certain it’s a must have trait. My days would be filled with binocular views of Zac Efron, Nathan Fillion, and Ryan Gosling. Imagine following them to restaurants, watching them take long (in my mind really long) showers, and sleep at night, digging through their closet drawers for underwear to sniff…what? Too much?
Kill that rude person at the store
I like to smile or say something nice to salespeople having a bad day which usually cheers them up, but what about those who are rude, obnoxious, and downright nasty no matter how polite you are? Perfect candidates for running over with your car after their shift or stabbing them with a broken store product in the alleyway while they go for a smoke. Mawhahah!
Freak out that annoying neighbor
Have you got a neighbor who doesn’t return things they borrow, has wild parties every weekend, or doesn’t clean up the crap their animals leave in your yard? No problems. Just invite them over and add them to the collection of body parts in your refrigerator. Or you could tie them up in your basement and torture them with your borrowed tools. I hear a neighborhood bar-b-que party is all the rave. Hahahah!
Get rid of unwanted family
We all have them. That one (or maybe even two) family members that makes you wonder if they’re really related. They come for the weekend, but stay for months. They eat all your food, borrow money they have no intention of paying back, and make messes they never clean up. Black sheep? Bawha! I have two words for you. Fishing trip!
Scare your spouse straight
Spouse giving you a hard time? Can’t get the hubbie to help out around the house or with the kids? Tell them you just increased their life insurance policy. Have conversations on the phone that imply you’re going to get rid of them, or have them wake up in the middle of the night to find you standing over them holding a hammer. Tell them you made something special for them to drink after stocking up on antifreeze. *rubbings hands together* Hahaha, mawhaha! Wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. What about you? What wicked thing(s) would you do if your life was a suspense/thriller? Come one. You can tell me! 🙂